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[26 Jul 2006|01:42am] |
I don't think anyone who reads this actually cares, but...I'm not dead.
Just preoccupied.
I think I might get a new LJ.
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| ob la di ob lad a life goes on bra la la how the life goes on |
[03 May 2006|04:35pm] |
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music |
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Obladi Oblada - The Beatles |
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IT'S OVER!!! (said in the voice of Strong Bad)
only, not entirely. Need to fix a few things for le AutoCAD final project, then Arthur can really see what a shitty job I did! 8D but it's due tomorrow at noon, so you know. no rush.
god i need a nap.
here's to my freshman year of college.
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| a list of standard issue regrets one last eighty proof slouchin' in the corner booth baby it's as |
[08 Apr 2006|02:58am] |
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A Million Ways - OK Go |
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I'm really not seeing the benefit of being a woman, lately. Not that this thought was provoked by the whole long and awkward discussion about sexual harrassment in the department, etc. during TP colloquium (BEST CLASS IN THE WORLD!!! not.), but that does add to the 'negative' column. Really, what provokes this is that I want to rip out my uterus and jump on it until it's nothing but a bloody mess. Which it is right now, but it wouldn't be inside me, at least, and wouldn't be telling my muscles to SQUEEZE THE HELL OUT OF IT.
I don't want to be able to pop babies out. And quite frankly, I feel like my boobs get in the way of things whenever I'm working. I don't like having curves. I feel awkward acting like a girl or dressing up like one. I mean, I'm no man and sometimes, guys acting like "guys" are just disgusting (if you understand what I mean?), but this? Is terrible. I'd rather be flat chested, have less mood swings, less hormones, and not have to go through menopause before this bleeding for five days and not dying thing stops. Hell, having a dick is probably easier than having a hole for various reasons. For one, I wouldn't have to make my own toilet seat liners every fucking time I go to the bathroom, because I'm slightly paranoid.
I wish I were a Herbina (...don't ask), like my mother, and didn't have to be a womanly woman -- physically, at least. I could totally deal with people mistaking me for a man, in person and on the phone. Because these cramps and migraines are killer, especially on the first day, and all I can do is lie in bed and pop painkillers all day long. Class and work? Totally out of the question, because I feel like dying if I move too much.
On a side note, at least the distance to the bathroom won't be so far next year. HoJo, here I, and Yanessa and some randomly assigned girl (I almost feel sorry for her without even knowing who she might be), come. I haven't even been to one of the rooms, and I don't have a clue what 309 will be like or if it's a nicely proportioned room, as Yanessa decided she liked the number because it had a 3 and a 9 in it...which makes sense, seeing as that's her birthday. Oh well. A/C, heating, a cafe, big windows, private bathroom -- doesn't sound too terrible, even if it is a triple and we don't know who the last third will be. Oh well. Life is like a box of chocolates...and I don't need to finish the rest of that phrase.
Digressing again, I think I have a new obsession, and it is called Doctor Who. I've only seen a few episodes of the first season on SciFi, but...I really, really like it. I even downloaded the Christmas special with the new Doctor, and...David Tennant is really adorable thus far (and, uh, kinda hot...and okay, so I have a total crush on his Doctor right now :c). I like Christopher Eccleston, too, but he's a very different Doctor. More awesome in a serious, snarky way, and less in a quirky, funny cute manner. I'm still curious to see more of Firefly, which I wasn't interested in when I tried to watch the first episode more than once, but I saw some episodes in the middle when it was on, guess what, SciFi.
Wow. This is the longest thing I've written in ages. I check everyday, I just...usually am not coherent enough to write any whole entries by the end of it. Okay I'm done.
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[08 Mar 2006|09:02pm] |
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I hope everyone's watching Top Chef tonight. (um she is my cousin so yay Lee Anne.)
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| looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find |
[03 Feb 2006|02:20am] |
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music |
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New Slang - The Shins |
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I like playing with AutoCAD.
A lot.
I think I just did more work than I really had to. And not on the thing I need to work harder on.
Oh well. At least I have more practice for the things that matter. And I would eventually have to draft this SOB anyway. I got a head start.
Much apologies to everyone I ignored on IM because I am so damn in love with computer programs. ALL IT TAKES IS A CLICK OF THE MOUSE. And fuuuuck, I need to get up early tomorrow because of that shitty thing called Art History Discussion.
Man. I wish I had the sequel to The Alienist with me, because that book? was totally hot (pee ess, spoilers there D:), but I have to wait until I go home to pick it up. I need to figure out what I'm doing this summer. I want to do the NYC Fringe Festival for an internship, just to have some work, but I dunno.
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| and those who say they dont agree are those who do not hear or see |
[29 Jan 2006|07:25pm] |
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music |
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A Hundred Million Miracles - Lea Salonga (Flower Drum Song) |
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KUNG HEI FAT CHOI. (or however the fuck you wanna spell it.)
For Chinese New Year, I didn't have Chinese food. I'm the only one who ordered everything...not Chinese on the menu. Does this equate me to my "bad Jew" friends? Am I a bad Chinese person? Well. We already established that people (at least, not here) don't consider me Asian.
Um. My life is pretty uneventful. I'd say something about how my classes were going...if there was any point to it. But for the most part, I...am opinionless. Everyone is cool. I enjoy what I'm learning. I am absent of rants and/or raves. I feel very mellow now, even though I'm sure I won't later on in the year, but me? Totally not stressing or even really doing more than living.
On a random note, for a moment, I considered converting to Buddhism. Of any kind of religion, I'd say that it fits my beliefs most closely. I'm not really much of a spiritual person, so it strikes me more as something I'm in great philosophical agreement with, more than it is a faith. Because, really, it's not. It's not about following the rules of a higher power, out of reverance or respect, so much as doing what's right because of cause and effect. Karma's not always in effect, but it doesn't hurt to try to do positive things. All of this philosophizing shit? Brought about by my Heritage of Asia class. So, Archaeology is kind of osm and nice to know about. It really, really makes me want to go Pakistan, or other places that have Islamic art and architecture.
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[10 Jan 2006|01:38am] |
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Small Sins / Big Within - The Ladies & Gentlemen |
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so I'm leaving Sunday or Monday. I'm not sure which, but there's not that much to pack and unpack, anyway. I might go back Sunday, just so I have Monday to take care of whatever needs to be taken care of before classes start again.
My life is beyond dull. I've been sitting at home for three weeks doing virtually nothing except being on the computer or going out with my mother. I don't mind, but you know. It's boring. And a little sad. Oh well. I have a few nice things from Christmas, and a few semi-random things that are still really really cool to my dorky self (OMG REBOOT!!! I HAVE A HEXADECIMAL ACTION FIGURE. THERE IS NOTHING MORE OSM THAN THAT) but mostly cash that ought to be spent on something.
I think I need new icons. I can put in three more yey.
Sleeping until 4 pm is probably bad. But then again, so is staying up until 8 am. Go team me.
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| all the lights are shining so brightly everywhere |
[24 Dec 2005|11:47pm] |
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music |
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All I Want For Christmas Is You - Olivia Olson |
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"You look like a deranged Easter Bunny."
"You'll shoot your eye out!"
Guess what I'm watching.
(That's right, the best holiday movie in the history of EVER.)
Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and New Year to all, and to all a good night.
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| that taste on your tongue don't easily slip away let kingdom come i'm gonna find my way |
[15 Dec 2005|11:37am] |
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music |
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Lonesome Day - Bruce Springsteen |
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FREEDOM.
Sort of. But I don't consider production and strike to be work, really. AAAAAAAAAAHHHH.
pee ess, The Rising has got to be one of my favorite albums, ever. A lot of the songs are things I have emotional connections to, being from New York and being especially affected by 9/11 (I mean, it was my fucking neighborhood, and I've told my story so many times since coming here). Even though a lot of the songs were written before the event, some of the songs are actually about it, and depress me just a little...but in a good way. His songs were possibly the most appropriate for the post-9/11 NYC. (Honestly, Paul McCartney, wtf? "Freedom"? I hated that song so much. It just pissed me off more than anything.)
ahhhh every song gets better and better, I forgot how osm this album is. I like Bruce Springsteen in general, but this is like...wow.
To top of the reminiscing, someone's fire alarm went off in their room, and that high pitched sound...kind of reminds me of that day. The eerie alarms that rang throughout. Well.
...I think I scared my roommate's friend when I started grasping for the TV when I saw the Narnia commercial. CLEARLY I NEED TO SEE THIS FUCKING MOVIE OR ELSE. don't know what but I neeeed it. and new icons.
Edit: ...okay. So I looked back at old entries in this journal. I am such a loser. New Year's resolution? New journal. Fuck it all.
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| i'm getting wise and i'm feeling so bohemian like you it's you that i want so please |
[13 Dec 2005|11:36am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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Bohemian Like You - The Dandy Warhols |
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So we're almost there. It's today's design exhibit, for which I am just pretty much mellow because I have low expectations for myself, and they seem to have low expectations, so we're pretty much even on our expectations. Then there's the Art History final on Thursday, which I'm not super confident on, but I'll at least get a passing grade, and I'm going to try harder on IDs this time.
THEN IT'S ONWARD TO FREEDOM.
To do:
- See Chronicles of Narnia (and possibly Brokeback Mountain)
- See Scenes from an Execution
- Go out to dinner, either at Brown Sugar Cafe or some other good Asian-y restaurant
- Go have dim sum in Chinatown
- more will be added to this list, because I need to make up for two and a half months of hardly seeing Boston, despite the fact that I live here
AND THEN I CAN GO HOME. I'm sorry to miss Hair, even though I'm not sure how it would turn out anyway (and hey, there's a Ho-Ho-Holiday party on Friday that can't be anything else but good), but we have to go do something over the next month that I'm home. I don't know what, or where we're going, but we're going to do something together.
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| bah humbug |
[01 Dec 2005|12:22am] |
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music |
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I HATE CHRISTMAS MUSIC RIGHT NOW |
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if anyone's had a terrible day today, it might cheer you up (if you're that kind of person) to hear that I struggled with three 40 feet long pieces of white fabric today, for about fourteen hours today (since about 9 am), and saw the inside of the room for about just as long (we got to the BUT at 7:45 am), with very few breaks in between. I just spent about sixteen hours with the same person, too. Not that I mind the company, but by 10:20 pm, we both kind of just died a little.
MY EYEBALLS WANT TO EXPLODE. MY MUSCLES ARE TWITCHING. TIRED ALL OVER.
damn eric for the difficult design (and not coming early enough to pick up his drops). damn matt for making yanessa do it, and then volunteering me to help. damn carin pratt for giving us a shitty machine. damn fabric for being a bitchfacedho.
asdfsadlfkjaskldfjksladfjsalkdfjsalfsa.dfjsaldfjasfdasdf
not going to an 8 am class tomorrow morning. I can't make myself do it. Art history lecture? That's just fine with me. I might try to go do work study, but then I probably won't. Oh well. I'll work on a paper instead. I have two of them, I suppose. I need to go to Shaw's. I need to check my mail. I need to do stuff. SIGH.
Happy December.
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| there are roads left in both of our shoes if the silence takes you then i hope it takes me too |
[28 Nov 2005|11:02pm] |
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Soul Meets Body - Death Cab for Cutie |
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So whoa.
I haven't written in a long time.
I had a happy birthday. Complete with cake and singing and OMG MY BOSSES ARE THE NICEST PEOPLE EVER, even if it was the day after. It's the most I've gotten in years, and I felt actually...I dunno, appreciated. I'm not big on advertising my birthday, and I'm always surprised if someone makes a bigger deal out of it than I do. This kind of floored me. It was fucking good cake, too, and I'm not even a big fan of cake -- though after eating about a quarter of it, I wanted to vomit. A lot. Too much sugar. Spare Cat started to lick the frosting off of the last little piece of it, so I had to throw it away. Alas. Still, I got a nice card the night before, and all was warm and fuzzy for a while.
I had a nervous breakdown. First public one, at least. I don't think I'll ever have one again. It's sort of like a christening thing. See, I have a public breakdown at least once in each school. I don't like crying in front of other people. I feel weak when I do. I don't like having people worry over me. I try to tell myself it's stupid to cry, and there's that logical part of me that calms quickly, but my body keeps sobbing. But it was cathartic, because after that, I've been in a pretty good mood. Almost frighteningly so.
Although this could be a sign that I'm more than a little mentally unbalanced. I've thought about it before, but I've never had it checked out. Maybe I should, someday.
I had a happy thanksgiving. The Peking duck and dim sum was a disappointment, as was Harry Potter (I think everyone else has covered it quite well), but I did enjoy the Saturday feast and helping in cooking it. I missed cooking. I watched a lot of TV and movies (Kung Fu Hustle WAS OSMTACULAR AND MAN I WISH I WAS ABLE TO SEE THE END), and slept a lot. Good few days, if you ask me.
And now it's almost December, and there's almost no classes, and the pressure on me is down, and my first semester in college is nearing its end. It's been a crazy past few months. Here's to many more.
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| it's so weird to be back here let me tell you what the years go on and |
[06 Nov 2005|12:29am] |
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mood |
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 procrastination is your friend |
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music |
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I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie |
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me: you know your writing class is special when you discover the phrases "Everybody loves Jesus!" and "necrophilia" on the same page of notes.
elysse: lol
me: and something about how "come" has a double meaning.
me: coventry patmore was a dirty bastard.
elysse: lol
me: and then you get to the page where all my notes are in highlighter, and you know at that point, I just stopped trying
True story.
My attention span just keeps getting shorter and shorter...
I need more new music.
DAMMIT. I can't reuse the same song, so... You know, I was never big into Ben Folds until after spending a great deal of time being exposed to his music, and now I apparently know the words to songs that I've only heard a few times. I really don't have a point.
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[28 Oct 2005|01:20pm] |
I love being sick.
And by love, I mean hate as much as I possibly can hate.
It's always at the most inconvenient times, too. Last year, it was the day before the final performance of West Side Story -- the only positive part being that I didn't have to rush around to get all the props put away in the basement because I was head of props. But otherwise, I feel like I missed out. This year, my illness extra early, and just in time for the Halloween party. SUCKS BALLS. I'm hoping I don't get worse throughout the rest of the day, but I really need to get some things done (i.e. DRAFTING HOLY SHIT) and I need to do some shopping, and I have a work call tomorrow. Being sick is such an inconvenience.
In other news, I love all of my classes except for Writing, which SUCKS BALLS and I can't write anymore because I have no time to write well, and Art History is only semi-interesting. Like, I would love learning it, if it weren't so...dull. I think Drafting would be better if J-Sav actually...well, taught.
I love scene shop and building more than I ever realized. I couldn't stand it in high school, maybe because I hated my crew, and maybe because it didn't feel like anyone ever had any confidence that I could do things myself. I work better when I don't feel like anyone's watching me, because then I start to second guess myself, but I know what I'm doing. The one thing I can't stand is unplugging air hoses, because it's like my aversion to biscuit cans: that air pressure pop scares the shit out of me. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I love my work study job. Roberto and Lori are really, really cool and nice to have as bosses, and it gives me the chance to learn about scenic art while I learn about Technical Direction, too. It means there are two options open for me. For the most part, I enjoy my days, and I'm going to try hard to get to work in the scene shop next quarter, when I'm in costume production.
Okay, time to go lie down and die until 2, and then try to get other stuff done. But I'm very slow and very tired, and even though I was doing everything accurately last night, I was sort of sluggish at doing it.
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| the bright love the dark side i know it's obvious but sometimes you just have to say it so |
[18 Oct 2005|12:09am] |
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music |
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Outsiders - Franz Ferdinand |
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So I just ate a cashew and didn't realize it was a cashew until after I ate it.
I feel like I'm going to die now, because I have to wait for the allergy meds to start working. I threw up (made it to the bathroom at least), my throat is swollen and my stomach hurts.
But this isn't a valid excuse not to finish my paper, is it?
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| and the soles of your shoes are all worn down the time for sleep is now it's nothing to cry about |
[14 Oct 2005|03:28am] |
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I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab for Cutie |
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I am so deeply and madly in platonic love with the people of my major. Well, mostly the grad students because somehow, I relate to them better despite being significantly younger (I'M ALMOST LEGAL. SHUT UP. I'M AN OLD CAT LADY AT HEART.), and somehow I am less intimidated by them than I am by the undergrad upperclassmen... Which is strange, but they're all really nice and really cool. It's like having really cool brothers or cousins or something. Except...you know...not really related to me.
I'm trying to be more outgoing with everyone, but I have a hard time doing that without already being in the company of at least one peer (and by this, I mean another freshman, or at least a freshman that doesn't completely overshadow me). I'm not a sparkling conversationalist by any means, but I'm not quite as cold and dead as people might think of me at first. I...just need time to warm up, or a spark to get me started. I'm not completely crazy, either, but I don't feel as afraid of being myself...and surprisingly, I can be amusing at times. I am really not as serious or whiny or negative as people think I am. I don't take myself seriously. I'm just...really cynical and indifferent. It makes life just a little easier.
So right now, at 3:30 AM, I've been up for 20 and a half hours straight, without any real napping in between (a couple of minutes where I blacked out during the Art History lecture do not count). I should go to bed, so I can go to class tomorrow, pick things up, start on homework assignments, and just get as much as I can done before next week. OH GOODY SCENE BUILDING STARTS TUESDAY. D: I don't have a break for nine hours -- 1 PM to 10 PM. I'm going from work to work. My life...will not be happy. Alas.
OKAY SLEEP TIME.
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[08 Oct 2005|11:07pm] |
I love being home. I almost never want to go back.
Except I know I have to.
But to be honest...it feels like this is real, and that other life? The one in college? It's...not, and I don't really miss it all too much. Which isn't because I don't appreciate what I have there, but...it's nice to have some downtime, and to be alone, and physically away from the people I see almost every hour out of a day.
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| it's nothing but time and a face that you'll lose i chose to feel it and you couldn't choose |
[07 Oct 2005|03:20am] |
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music |
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Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars |
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Less than twelve hours until my bus ride.
Less than twenty four until I'm home, in my real apartment, in my own bed, and with my own sofa, and teevee and zomg DOWNLOADS AND BSG DVDS! SHRIEK!
In other news, I suck at life, as...I need to find time to actually do those things between coming home to do homework. :P
God, I miss New York.
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| don't you know it's a waste of your day caught up in endless solutions that have no meaning |
[02 Oct 2005|10:22am] |
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music |
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A Life Illusion - Joe Walsh |
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There are too many ups and downs to this college life.
I need to stop writing out long entries, lose steam, then erase everything I've written, because I'm back to non-reflective mode, and feel like an ass for even starting to write it out.
I can't wait to go home on Friday.
The 40 Year Old Virgin soundtrack just amuses me. A lot.
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| one by one you can cage them in your freedom make them all disappear |
[26 Sep 2005|09:27pm] |
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music |
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Celebration Guns - Stars |
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"Choose one-page from this week's reading, imitating [Jane] Austen's language while adapting the situation to something that has recently happened in your own life."
In its original formatting, as it did not fit on one page, so I had to substitute a few words here and there in the final version:
After some opposition, more commonly known as laziness and the act of procrastination, Allison yielded to the call of the homework assignment, and rose from her comfortable position on her bed. She did not suspect, though it was composed of several parts and was to be a certain number of pages, the writing to take more than an hour or so. When she sat herself at the computer, Allison recollected that her copy of Sense and Sensibility was in her bag on the opposite end of the room, to which she ought to refer in order to complete the assignment; and she stood again to gather her materials.
On retrieving the book, she found herself near to the room's door and heard such a loud exchange of voices, that she could not resist looking through the small, round peephole. By the time she had stood close enough, however, the hallway was empty of people; and there was nothing to be done other than sit back down. But putting her fingers to the keyboard, and beginning to type, proved to be difficult as she found herself lacking in subject matter. It was to be a story crafted in language similar to that of Jane Austen's, and till the vocabulary, style, form and rhetoric were matched, all of which, after several minutes of attempting to formulate a proper story for a recent situation, were taking an indecent amount of time to put in proper place, she had no leisure to become distracted by various other windows open on the laptop screen.
At last the affair was decided. The most recent situation she could recall with ease, and could describe in words not of her typical fair, was the one she was presently in; and she wrote about it for the length of one page, as had been requested by her teacher, Leslie Simon, until she could think of nothing more to add to each sentence. Jane Austen's style tended to lend itself towards run-on sentences and many unnecessary commas; and though the style of writing was most uncomfortable for Miss Jung, she was obliged to write in such a manner to obtain a respectable grade in her Writing 100 class.
I totally win at life. Now for the two page anal ysis. HOORAY. FUN TIMES. BUT NOT REALLY.
Stars is like crack for me.
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yaminokoneko's journal